Being perfect..

Heey 😁

Are you that person in your little clique who is the "go to" person for advice? That person with the most experience in life, the person who has everything... Good grades, beautiful face, a perfect boyfriend or girlfriend, the one with his or her career completely planned out? And you still feel empty, sad, incomplete and other vocabularies probably running through your head right now..

I do have the most amazing set of friends, they are my greatest assets because they give me a purpose to life. Sometimes I feel like I get my satisfaction and fulfillment by arranging their life and keeping it on track. I love knowing everything tiny detail. I love that when happy or sad I am the first person in their head to call. I love knowing I am IMPORTANT.  Now some of my friends considered this role I play as "being perfect." That I have my life in order with a set if loyal people always beside me. But the truth is my life is so far, too far from perfect. I've got shits in my life too I have to take care of. Things that make me want to talk to someone but in order to be the best friend to all, I have to hide those problems or downplay their importance or tell the story as a realistic hero who fought and conquered.

Truth of the matter is no one is perfect, at least I know I am not. I sometimes find myself looking at people that have the body size I used to have, I endure jokes being made about my new size I laugh it off. I also endure the mental beating I give myself in front the mirror where I tell myself I will be prettier slimmer. Still I see some plus size people rocking their size and I admire them, I wanna be like them and I also realize that I still won't be Rocking it as they are and I give up.  

I have come to realize that perfection is what we Make it to be. My perfection is my little group of friend who mean the world to me, perfection too is my family even without having much the love is still there, perfection can also be my boyfriend who loves me enough to drag me out of the dark and make me question how I have been looking at myself. My perfection is me as fat or slim as I am, as beautiful or ugly as I am, as important or not, and as annoying and stupid as I may sound to you.

I am perfect and you are too😊